The Struggle to Find Acceptance is Holding Back the Human Race

Growing up as a child, I was raised among a variety of different cultures that included European, Middle Eastern, American and Mexican societies. Before I was a young adult man, I had personally practiced Protestantism, Catholicism, and Judaism. I was acquainted with Buddhists and Muslims. Over that time, my ongoing, regular exposure pushed me from places of tolerance to compassion, which I considered to be two different things.

I remember tolerating gays and Muslims. They were in circles of of acquaintances I had. However, there were always lines drawn, particularly in my teens. Gays could get civil unions, but not marriages. Muslims could be citizens, but should have to endure additional rigors in order to retain citizenship.

It’s the qualifiers we put on people that make them outsiders. This happens in cultures around the world, and people in positions of privilege benefit from it. Their own status as the cultural standard earns respect and admiration, while people in minority positions, be that sexual, religious, ethnic, and so on, are forced to struggle for acceptance in the larger cultural landscape.

One people, no borders.

What that has created, in the 21st century, is a world that is more accepting but still full of hesitation at embracing the person next to them when differences exist. This leaves individuals in minority positions having to do absurd things for acceptance. Ethnic minorities change their names to sound more popularly ‘white’ and less ‘ethnic.’ Religious minorities practice in secret. Gay people in the United States continue to have to fear for their lives, and coming out continues to be an event precisely because we continue to stigmatize sexuality.

I'm not perfect in this, either. I continue to be a product of countless millennia of evolution, thousands of years of tribalism, and decades of socialization. I am better, but not perfect, in my acceptance of others. I still find the impulse, at times, to blame Islam — and have to check myself and remind myself, as Chitown Kev did in his diary, that gay individuals are victimized by members of religions and societies around the world, and not just any single one.

Greater acceptance, though, must be ongoing. We need to continue growing as a race so that loving each other is instinctual, even when there are vast cultural, religious, or sexual differences. As it stands, humanity is currently churning through generations of people who have to come together and unify simply for the right to exist. Imagine if that were not the case. Imagine if generations of people did not have to worry about fighting for acceptance. Imagine if they could focus their energies elsewhere, without having to worry if they would find equal standing before the law. Imagine if those energies could be put toward art and the sciences.

Which is not to argue that the work of activists of all backgrounds isn’t valuable. It is, in fact, necessary, and among the greatest works needed by mankind today. It is necessary, though, because we as a society continue to carry a fear of anyone different from ourselves. I want to imagine a time when this is no longer the case. I want to have dinner with friends without a person’s religion or sexuality causing antagonism or anxiety for some of the members present. I want the idealized vision of the United States, not the ugly truthful one, in which all people stand as equal citizens of equal value, with no one having to avert their eyes or bow their faces for fear of the majority’s anger.

I want to see the gay atheist stand beside the straight preacher and know both will have equal standing before society and the law. I want to see the Shia and Sunni Muslim enjoy equal rights and prosperity as they live side by side. I want to see the Nigerian, Venezuelan, French, and Chinese gathered at a single table in a society of human equals. I want every person to look at one other and not say “sir” or “ma’am” in deference, but to call one another “citizen,” with the pride and knowledge that the labor worker contributes as much to his society as the businessman, that the teacher gives as much as the soldier, and that the politician gives as much as the restaurant worker. Society is the sum product of all of us, not the few of us.

I want to see the equal society of humanity that can divert its energies to the maximization of its potential and the dream of taking its place among the stars. That will always be impossible, though, as long as we struggle simply to recognize our neighbor as human. So, I will dream of a better tomorrow, where acceptance is given, not fought for, in which we all stand shoulder to shoulder.

Black Americans Can Never Be The "Smart Ones"

Very recently, the trailer for the new Ghostbusters reboot has been making the rounds and garnering a number of negative responses. In fact, according to Entertainment Weekly, it is the “most disliked movie trailer in Youtube history." Now, there are a number of reasons why this could be the case, from the general opposition to a reboot to some level of misogynist responses that refuse to acknowledge females as heroes in roles traditionally limited to males. Personally, I just didn’t find the trailer funny, which despite its horror elements, the original Ghostbusters movie was incredibly funny.

However, the reason I dislike what I’ve seen of the film so far, comes specifically from this line in the trailer: “You guys are really smart about this science stuff, but I know New York, and I can borrow a car from my uncle.” For the purpose of this discussion, I’d like to focus on the first half of that statement: “You guys are really smart about this science stuff, but . . .”

I would classify Ghostbusters in the science fiction & fantasy genre of film. For that reason, I took a look at the best 25 science fiction films according to Indie Wire. While I won’t recount the entire list, they include such venerable entries as Children of Men to Solaris and Sunshine. I’ve previously discussed the fact that black Americans rarely make up the leads, and that still holds true. Casts are still top heavy with white actors, with blacks almost never in the role of the lead protagonist (except when the Will Smith rule is in play) and typically relegated to a supporting role, at best (Billy Dee Williams, as cool as he is as Lando Calrissian, still falls outside the lead trio of Luke, Han, and Leia).
Things have improved, with John Boyega’s portrayal as Finn a recent example of a black actor in a lead role in the area of science fiction. Still, black actors continue to find it difficult to break into particular genres of film, science fiction being one of those. When they do, they are rarely the lead, and are constrained by tropes that demand certain ethnicities dominate certain roles.

A rare portrayal of a black actor as a lead in science fiction.

If not for the fact that Ghost Busters had a black actor, Winston Zedmore, in the original film, I don’t doubt that this reboot would be whitewashed as are so many films in Hollywood. However, the fact is that there is a black actress in this film, Leslie Jones. So, we must once again return to that same line we began with, the one Jones says in the trailer: “You guys are really smart about this science stuff, but . . .”

So what role does Leslie Jones, the black actress portraying ghostbuster Patty Tolan, fill in this film? The role of Patty Tolan is of the street-wise, sassy member of the group with an edge the rest, while funny, just don’t have. Now, Jones has previously defended her portrayal and, actually, so do I. I would never argue that this role isn’t one that black actresses should fill, because they exist. Hell, Xosha Roquemore, who plays nurse Tamra on The Mindy Project, communicates herself through social media to be at least as flippant and colloquial in her speech as her counterpart on the show.

These people exist. There’s nothing wrong with portraying them. That’s not the root of the problem.

The larger problem in Hollywood comes back to that line: “You guys are really smart about this science stuff, but . . .” In film and television, the sassy black woman is so persistently portrayed that there is an entire page dedicated to it on TV Tropes. Again, the trope isn’t the problem, and there are both good and bad versions of the portrayal. The character of Patty Tolan may very well turn out to be a good version of the sassy black woman, rather than a portrayal that skirts at exploitation. Bad versions of the sassy black woman reduce her to just being sassy rather than a complex character,
However, the stereotype of the sassy black woman is abundant to the degree that it infringes on the ability for black women to play roles as anything but sassy. This has been addressed by black actresses who have spoken on the issue and recalled times they went into casting calls, only to be told they needed to be “sassier.”

  Willona Wods is the Trope Codifier of “The Sassy Black Woman.”

Why is it that Leslie Jones plays the role of the street-wise character, and not the role of the lead engineer or the quantum physicist? Why is it that the character of Patty Tolan is an addition to the team, rather than one of its founders? This has partly to do with the limited roles available to black actors and actresses across the board, but also has something to do with the writing process.
I’ve spoken before on my own intentions when writing my series to portray a black female in the lead of a science fiction novel, as well as some of the negative responses I received from readers when they made the connection she was black. This is similar to the response that the original Hunger Games film received, when Rue died. There were actually audience members who said they couldn’t sympathize because they found out she was black.

Black actors and actresses continue to be told to “act blacker,” an infuriating phrase for countless individuals across the country. They continue to find themselves pushed away from lead roles and into sidekick, peripheral, or secondary roles. Often, these roles are contoured by society, and require a certain amount of “acting black” in order to succeed. What results is a toxic environment in which the character of Patty Tolan was written, and is why we have that line: “You guys are really smart about this science stuff, but . . .”

I want to see intelligent, black female scientists who conceives the Ghostbusters. I want to see the black lead of a new Star Wars style blockbuster series. I want to see diverse portrayals of black culture and society on the screen because, for many of us living in diverse communities, we get to interact with those every day. We get to interact with scientists, doctors, lawyers, insurance agents, artists, and professors who just happen to be black.

So why aren’t there more of those roles available in both film and television?

(Although the following video has to deal with the Indian American experience, it does relate to the pressure that POC experience in casting and Hollywood, and shows both sides of acting to stereotype: those who do it and those who can afford to say not to.)

Gas Station Racism (and being shocked by it).

So, I'm a pretty angry guy sometimes.

What do I mean by that? Well, first of all, in my head I go through some daily battles with insulting people. That gets balanced against my conscience, which tells me I'm an idiot. Finally what comes out of my mouth is generally respectful. But that doesn't mean I ever skip the angry part.

If you ever went through a basic psychology course, you probably understand Freud's theory that we have three levels to our consciousness. You've got what's at the base: The Id. The Id is instinctual drives and urges that you can't control. Like me, I get angry at everyone almost right off the bat. Maybe it's the cost of living in a high stress town in a high stress profession.

Then you've got the Superego, which are all the rules culture and society teach you. Think of these like ideals. You'll never perfectly meet them, but they're the standards that get set for you depending on how you were raised. Finally there's the Ego, which satisfies the basic drives of the Id by balancing them against the realistic rules set by the Superego.

So, for instance. I get angry at someone (often for little reason; say they cut me off). I want to get out of my car and start yelling at him for being an idiot. My Superego intervenes and says that type of stupidty could get me locked up. And my Ego, still needing to satisfy my lingering angry urges, turns up some aggressive music for me to rock out to and get my impulses satisfied in a way that does no harm to anyone. According to Freudian theory, people go through this cycle on a daily basis, no exception. We all have some urge we realize isn't appropriate that makes us say to ourselves, "Hey, dumb dumb, quiet down with that nonsense."

Now let me tell you a story about how that Id-Ego-Superego thing can play out in real life. I've talked about this with other people so I know I'm not the only one that does this, but sometimes I'll mentally pick out something about a person's race and use that to insult them. I do that about white people, black people, Hispanic, asian, and on and on. Sometimes that means I'll get angry and think something like, "Asians should learn to speak English." At which point the other parts of my conscience kick in and say, "Hey idiot, your own grandmother didn't speak English." And finally it resolves itself in good social behavior where I try to treat everyone with some respect because, as my thinking mind points out, we're all humans facing our own struggles. 

 

Hell, my entire Facebook wall is a bleeding stream of angry rants against racism and inequality in America. So while I can think a huge jumble of positive and negative things about people based on race, color, creed, sexual orientation, and on, the arc of my behavior has always been on a trajectory of despising inequality and treating people with some human decency. And, much like the Good Book argues, I believe sin starts in the mind and leads to bad actions. So how do you get rid of negative thoughts like the ones I have? Well, meet more people not like yourself. Understand their struggles. Get to know them. This is like, basic kids stuff. They taught you this on G.I. Joe twenty years ago.

That leads us to the gas station incident of yesterday. Now, I've talked before about how I enjoyed writing a black female lead into my book, FLOOR 21 (which is selling quite nicely, thank you). Most of my friends are black, a happy consequence of living in Houston. I've also talked about how I had to drop a friend of mine after showing a picture of my ex-girlfriend to him. He might have been drunk, but when he said, "Oh, you like those n****r girls", that was the end of the friendship. Being my skin color and dressing nicely means I overhear a lot of stuff that's borderline, but when you can't even hide your racism, and don't even want to try, well we don't need to be friends.

And maybe it was me being naive, but I really didn't think talking bad about black people was that persistent. But, apparently, people feel like because I'm white skinned and wear a nice suit I'm the guy you feel comfortable sharing your racism with. And the weird part is, this time it was so subtle, I didn't even realize what had just occurred until I was driving away from the gas station.
Scenario: Me, standing in line behind a black man taking a long time at the counter. He tells his son he won't buy the child a particular candy because at $3.00 it's too expensive for its size. So, the father takes the child into the aisles to find another candy.

Thoughts: Your internal reaction to this could range from inoffensive to highly racist.
You could think
1.) Nothing. Oblivious to the situation.
2.) Man, it's just three bucks. Just pay.
3.) Well, this is a responsible adult teaching his son to choose wisely when buying something.
4.) Black people have no money and this guy shouldn't be here.

I highlight that last option because of what happened next. I've already gone through my rolling number of thoughts. I'm in a rush, annoyed, want this guy to hurry. I've done my, "Don't think negative thoughts because we're all humans who struggle and have priorities and this guy obviously loves his son." So I've put the situation behind me.
The clerk hasn't apparently. After the man walks back into the aisles, he says
Clerk: "This guy."
Me: "What's that now?"
Clerk: "I'm not surprised he didn't have money. Probably shouldn't have been in here. Looks like he's on the wrong side of town."
Me: (Not digesting what I've just been told) "I know right?"
My response was one of those things you do when you're not really sure you've heard a person correctly, or can't really understand what you've been told. So I'm pulling away in my car and thinking to myself, "What did that guy just say? Did he really say the black guy was on the wrong side of town?"

The black man in the store was wearing glasses, a nice pair of slacks and a nicely pressed shirt. Not that you should have to defend a black man's choice of clothing anyway, but this was the least threatening or offensive way a person could have been dressed. But the clerk still thought it was okay to tell me, a white dude, that this black guy was on the wrong side of town.

This goes back tot he Id-Ego-Superego thing. Somewhere along the way in society, a lot of people have apparently had the rules in their Superego programmed in a way that says it's okay to talk bad about black people or insult them. Maybe not with everyone, but this clerk's Superego obviously told him, "Hey, this nice looking white guy's going to appreciate me insulting that black guy in the back who didn't want to spend three dollars on candy."

Candy. He felt it was okay to make this insult over candy. I don't want to know what he would have felt justified doing if the situation had been even a degree worse. Because small thoughts, like that, if left uncontrolled, manifest in words. Words help shape our realities. And then we create environments where it's okay to discriminate against a segment of our society. Everything builds on itself. That's why it's important to keep having discussions and broadening your experiences, so that you get it in your head that those thoughts and actions aren't right.

AS AN ASIDE, now that I'm actually a published author I'll be doing a lot more writing. Probably a lot about race, since I deal with it so much in Houston and because my books revolve around portraying people of different races in science fiction settings. I previously wrote about black heroic leads here:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/05/28/1388577/-My-experience-writing-FLOOR-21-and-African-American-leads-in-Science-Fiction
And my next piece will be on interracial relationships. Until next time this is DAISHI, signing out.